Flowers are blooming and birds are chirping - it must be spring. This verdant season invites us to clean up, de-clutter, and head into the warmer months afresh. Just like a drawer that becomes too cluttered to find what you are looking for, your message can get lost in writing that is cluttered with words that fail to add meaning or weak verbs that don't drive sentences forward. Below are three quick ways to de-clutter and clean up a paragraph.
First, locate and convert nominalized nouns into strong verbs. Nominalization changes a verb into a noun and replaces the nominalized verb with a weaker verb (e.g. made an agreement instead of agreed; gave consideration to instead of considered). Strong verbs describe an action with precision and drive a sentence forward. Nominalization packs a double-whammy of lengthening sentences, while making them weaker and less clear. Learning to spot nominalized nouns during editing and replacing them with stronger verbs will increase clarity and readability.
Original: The commencement of the hearing will occur when the judge makes a decision on the motion.
Edited: The hearing will commence when the judge decides the motion.
Second, find and remove any unnecessary throat-clearing. Like ums and ahs while speaking, throat-clearing phrases add length, but not any meaning to a text (e.g. "It is interesting to note..."; "It must be said...."; "It is clear that..."; "It is widely understood that..."). Removing these phrases in the editing process creates stronger, clearer sentences by allowing the reader to focus on the subject and the action.
Original: It is clear that the respondent never consented to the arbitration agreement.
Edited: The respondent never consented to the arbitration agreement.
Third, always use language approrpriate for the intended audience. Using unnecessary legalese rarely helps achieve the advocate's goal.The law is rife with technical phrases and vocabulary, which simply cannot be replaced with a more commonly used words. As a result, a certain amount of "legalese" is necessary. However, law students and lawyers are are sometimes misled into thinking that confusing jargon or redundancies elevate their writing and make them sound more sophisticated or serious. This is simply not the case. Avoiding legalese does not mean eliminating necessary technical terms, but rather requires asking whether a phrase or word is the most precise version of itself for the intended audience.
Editing to "clean up" a text is not about making the text shorter. Rather, it is about making the text more clear and impactful. Clear and effective writing means that the reader can easily understand your point after a single reading. Clear text requires clear thinking - and going through this "tidying up" process has the added benefit of checking whether your ideas are structured, coherent, and supported. Ideas that are not fully formed or arguments that are not thorough will be exposed, and you will have a chance to strengthen them through editing.
The text below is grammatically correct, but cluttered with nominalizations, throat-clearing, and legalese. The author's point becomes much clearer after this "clutter" is edited away.
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