Clients and lawyers are perpetually busy. If they have to exert extra efforts to suss out the meaning of an overloaded text, you risk losing them along the way. Last spring I offered some advice to help tidy up writing to ensure that a message does not get lost in word clutter. To mark the beginning of spring this year, I have three more tips for increasing the clarity of a text. "Cleaning up" a text is not simply about reducing the word count, but rather reducing impediments to a clear understanding of a text after a single reading. The "cleaning" tips below follow the same method I use for my cupboards: remove items that are not needed (Tips 1 & 2) and organize what remains (Tip 3).
Tip 1: Be Precise
Chose the most precise and descriptive words to eliminate the need for meaningless or ambiguous modifiers (e.g. very). Check your text for "very"s and ask yourself whether a more precise description could invoke a more vivid image. This technique will not only declutter your writing; it will also make your text vibrant and alluring. Which sentence from a statement of facts conjures a a clearer, more memorable image?
The defendant tried to get away very quickly and ran into the woman who was walking across the street causing her to sustain very serious injuries.
While attempting to flee on foot, the defendant struck and severely injured the pedestrian.
The Language Nerds have a terrific list of words to use instead of "very". Of course, there is no substitute for a good thesaurus when looking for the best word. Consult the thesaurus first to find different options, and then check your selection in a dictionary to ensure it doesn't have any unwanted connotations. Ursinus College provides a helpful primer on properly using a thesaurus.
Tip 2: Be Active
Replace passive verbs where they do not serve a purpose. Check your writing for passive verbs by asking whether the subject performed the action or whether the subject was acted upon.
Active Voice: The parties signed the contract.
Passive Voice: The contract was signed by the parties.
Sentences written in the passive voice tend to require more words and can create confusion around who did what. Verbs in the active voice drive a sentence forward and allow the reader to clearly and quickly identify the actor, the action taken, and the object. Passive sentences need not be converted if the passive voice is used strategically, for example, to emphasize the object rather than the actor (e.g. The Equal Pay Act was passed unanimously.) or to deliberately distance the action from the actor (e.g. Mistakes were made.). But, as in the latter example, if your passive construction results from lack of moral fortitude, you need to rethink a lot more than just your writing style!
Tip 3: Be critical
One of my favorite and most impactful writing instructors was a history professor at Ithaca College, Professor Joseph Tempesta. Since retired, he was one of those incredibly gifted teachers whose passion and intellect motivated and inspired his students to expect better from themselves. His essay corrections taught me just as much about effective writing as Renaissance humanism. One of his most oft-used and constructive comments on the margin of a term paper was "so what?" This was his shorthand for asking "why are you telling me this?". Either the information was unnecessary to the issue being discussed or there was an insufficient connection established between the "so-what"ed text and the sentences preceding it. I encourage everyone to be their own Professor Tempesta. As you read back each sentence during editing, ask yourself:
Why am I telling my reader this information?
What bearing does it have on the larger point I am trying to make?
Have I clearly and sufficiently linked this information to what came before it?
To help answer these questions when editing a longer text, a reverse outline is a useful tool. Summarize each of your paragraphs with a few words in the margin. Go back and read your summaries to determine whether all the information is necessary and flows logically, and covers all the topics you intended to address.
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